Who is Bob?

My name is Bob Collins. From a very young age I knew I was gonna be good at three things: 1) Drinking booze; 2) Fucking up my life; and 3) Fucking broads.

It ain’t all what it seems. You see, sometimes when you got the kinda personality I have–an unadulterated alpha male–grown up the way he was, you’re inevitably gonna get a shit storm to deal with.

I was born and raised in a low-income household in Cleveland, OH. From a very young age I learned how to despise people.

My mom was young and stupid when she got pregnant. My dad was older and smarter. He wanted to score with a girl from the wrong side of the tracks. My mom took hit bait, hook, line, and sinker, and then she took one of hit squirts from behind. I’m the result.

I guess you could say all of my bad decisions started the moment I was conceived.

My dad ditched my mom before I was born. That hurt my mom so bad she could never keep a man. As a matter of fact, she wanted to screw as many of them over as she could. I grew up in a house of revolving father figures. My mom brought one man home, then punished him for the way my dad treated her. Then the guy punished me for being my mom’s kid. I was beaten a lot.

Ever since then, I’ve struggled to keep a level attitude about people. You see, once your life is screwed, you keep getting screwed. It takes a monumental effort to turn your life around.

But I try. I don’t wanna be no asshole like the dad who left me or the men my mom brought home who beat me. I’m trying to be something better in life.

That’s why I write. I might be a fuck up, conceived under deception, I might not have any life skills, but I got a right to try to be better. Because I’m a human being, goddamnit. This is the world I got shoved in to. I ain’t happy about it, it’s just what I got to deal with. I keep failing and I keep falling short, but goddamn I keep trying. That’s what everybody should do.

If you don’t like that, bend over. I got eleven-and-three-quarter-inches of meat to ramrod up your ass.

The first book I ever wrote is called The Sexually Adventurous Life of Bob Collins vol 1 It’s very much a first book. It’s a fictionalized version of me falling in love with a woman only to realize I couldn’t live with her. You can buy that on Amazon. It’s $.99. You know, it’s a first book. It’s full of sex, but it’s also underscored by that human dignity that I, Bob Collins, should get a chance, too. Even in a book full of baseness, I have my tender moments.

I just started work on something new. It’s called Crazy Bitches. I’ll be blogging about the story as it progresses. I’m going to do my best to get that message in there too. Even in this world that’s a piece of shit, even the lowest of us have some human dignity. None of deserves to be treated like shit, even though we are.


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