Branding and Other Ways to Enhance Your Online Reputation

Branding is a hot topic. Seems like every writer is trying to establish a personal brand.

Well, guess what? I don’t have to.

And why not? What makes me so special?

I’m Bob Motherfucking Collins. That’s what makes me special.

I only have to do what Bob Collins does. That makes everything I do special–automatically.

You wanna read about branding. Here, check out this article. Or this one. It’s got some good ideas too. And if you follow all a those tips, you’ll magically be at the top a the Internet.

What! You don’t think it works like that? It sure does.

Let me share a story with you.

Back when I was fourteen years old, I had a pretty big dick. It wasn’t the full eleven and three-quarter inches I got now–that didn’t happen till I was 15–but it was still pretty big. I started showing it off to some girls in my school. No big deal. Just, you know, in the woods, stuff like that. But pretty soon word got around I was packing a canon.

How’s that for word of mouth advertising?

Pretty soon girls were asking me to see it. And I was never the kind a guy who could upset his customers. So I showed it off. To anyone who wanted a look.

It was only a matter a time before they wanted to touch it, then lick it, then fuck it.

By that time, my reputation was set. I had my brand. Biggest dick in Lakewood.

But you see what I did? Did you pay attention to my strategy here? I did absoluely nothing special. I just showed off my dick. I didn’t try to go find some fancy angle on things. I just worked with what God had seen fit to give me. Lord knows I ain’t got to much brains, so I didn’t try to impress ’em with the answer to Jeopardy questions. But I had a big dick. I worked with it.

So, what can you learn from my story?

1) If you don’t got something special to offer your customers, you’re fucked.

That’s all.

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4 comments on “Branding and Other Ways to Enhance Your Online Reputation

  1. T Tomkins says:

    I just have no idea what to say about this post. Are you for real? If you are, You’ve really made me see things differently. Like, should I even try to build a career?

  2. […] does Bob Collins start? Since Bob Collins has his own personalized brand, he starts […]

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